I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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