If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
