I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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