Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize