Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
