In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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