so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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