she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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