3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
