okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think I just sharted jello shots
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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