You really coming over, don't trick.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
