You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
