last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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