How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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