You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
