the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
