You really coming over, don't trick.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
