I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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