i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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