East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
