I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
