Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
