I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
