I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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