And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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