they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
