I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
