Is it normal to miss your booty call?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
