covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
