their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
