I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
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