Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
