Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
