I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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