I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
