On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
