i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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