Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
