i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
