cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
