I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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