party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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