Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
