Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
