I bet he comes in French.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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