so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
