My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
