question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i will never coherently bang her
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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