About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
