He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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