we have officially lost it.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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