don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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