we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
