look no pants
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
