OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
