I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
