i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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