Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
