Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
