Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
