I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
